Real Happy Mom

[236] How to Get Things Done Regularly WITHOUT the Overwhelm

Toni-Ann Mayembe, Alicia Cohen Episode 236

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If you missed Let's Get More Time, I've got a special treat for you. In this episode, I'm featuring one of the live sessions in which my friend Alicia Cohen shared how to get things done regularly without being overwhelmed.

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Do you find it hard to keep up with all of the things that you have to get done? Maybe you feel like you should be doing more? Or just, maybe it's a little bit overwhelming trying to maintain your home. And the rest of your life. Well, you're in luck because my friend Alicia is going to share how you can get things done regularly without the overwhelm. And keeping up with all the things, of course. So, if you are new to the Rocky Mount podcast, hey there. I'm Tony an. The podcast host of the row, happy mom podcast, the podcast for busy working moms who need help with gaining more time and achieving their big goals, but out pulling their hair out. And in this episode, my friend Alicia is going to be. Sharing just a little bit on routines. Now I will tell you that this is a clip for him. Let's get more time. Why obsession that we had back in February. And if you're like, listen to this episode and real time. We are having a flash sale here at real happy mom. It is going until a Friday. So you definitely want to go ahead and snatch the let's get more time bundle, which includes all of the presentations. And all of the live sessions in addition to a few bonuses for me. Like I said, this will be on sale. Until Friday, March 29th for a limited time for 30% off. So use the link in the description to learn more and to get your hands on it. Now let's go ahead and jump on in to this episode.

Alicia:

So let's get into the learning goodness. Here we go. Today's topic is Routines, we're going to talk about two things tonight. We are going and these again are straight from you guys Tony and told me what are the top struggles? What do the people registering for the let's get more time summit want support with want to know about? Here are the things that were like the top for today Solving the issue of getting things done regularly without overwhelm and keeping up with it all. That is topic numero uno for tonight. And the second topic is solving this time for yourself, caring for yourself kind of thing. That whole topic. So that's what we're getting into. What I want to talk about is the first one here of let's talk about getting things done Regularly without overwhelm and keeping up with it all to do this you need let's unpack the overwhelm overwhelm first right we got to start there the overwhelm because Without starting there, it's going to be hard to get things done because when we feel overwhelmed, we don't feel like doing stuff, right? We avoid stuff, we procrastinate, we're just so tired, and we're tired because we're overwhelmed, and then we're overwhelmed because we're tired. It's just like a recipe for disaster, right? So we got to start with the overwhelm because then that also makes it hard to keep up with it all, which is the other part of this first topic here, the overwhelm. Usually comes again, put it in the comments. If it's something different for you, the overwhelm comes from all the stuff in our heads, right? It's just so much that we're thinking about trying to keep track of that. That's where it starts. There does come then the doing, but I think if we back it up, it starts up here in the mind. In the good old brain. Oh, are you with me? Is that how it is for you? Let me know. And if this is a, uh, struggle for you, please definitely let me know. Let me know. I'm going to pop over the chat just for a second. Yes. Overwhelm is brain swirl. Yes. You sound like someone who has heard me speak before that mind swirl, brain swirl, mind swirl. Yes. Cool. All right. So then that is what we're going to do. If it's something different than, cool. Then the brain with the overwhelm, you let me know, but pretty sure the majority of us, that's what it is. So what do we got to do about that? Brain dump talked about it last night. I'm going to talk about it again right now, the ongoing brain dump. Yes. Other kinds of brain dumps that other people teach out there. They're cool, but my favorite brain dump that I think is like primo prime number one ongoing brain dump You gotta do the ongoing brain dump because that's where we take all the thoughts and get them out all the thoughts and get them Out. I know I said this last night and I probably I think I did the same thing last night Get it out. Put it on the paper. Get it out. Put it on the paper or get it out Put it in your phone. That's what we got to do if you want to learn how to do this Same free resources last night. Can you like guys, there's a process, there's a method to the madness and it's not really madness because there's a method. And then that helps it be like, not so madness. Get my free workshop. It's in the goodie bag. Tony Ann's going to link it. The only to do list system you need to get your busy life under control today. I talk about how to get a to do list system set up to list to do list management system set up, and it includes this ongoing brain dump. That's going to be important. If you want to get things done regularly without overwhelm and keeping up with it all, you gotta have a, like a command center place where all this is happening for you. I talk about it in. the free workshop. So I'm not going to get it in because if I did get in to hear all of it tonight, it's just, we wouldn't have time for anything else. So we don't need to go into the details because you can get that for free in my free workshop. Go sign up for that. You'll be all set. So once you've got the overwhelm in the mind, kind of take it down, take it down a little bit, right? We need a plan of attack. We need. Like how are we going to do these things regularly? How are we going to keep up with the thing now? I'm gonna you probably could guess you could probably guess that I'm about to say this, right? You say you want to keep up with it all but what's even all all is like this Oh, I was like this like anxious like I need to keep up with it all but we all we all know Huh, most of us know I'm gonna say most of us know that all is not reality, right? You Talked about this last night sort of talking about it here again tonight, right? We gotta like Get rid of that say it's the same thing like last night where we were talking about like I don't have enough time like for it All right, that's that's kind of what's underlying that right? I don't have enough time for it Oh, we got to stop having this like chasing the all because no one's doing it all right Even if you see someone on pince Instagram Instagram if you see someone on Pinterest Instagram YouTube whatever and it appears that she's doing it all no You No one is doing it all. A lot of these people have like teams, teams or support, or they're delegating things. That's what's happening. Right. Or they're doing things that you see that like, whoa, she's doing a quote unquote all, but you don't see all the things that she's not doing. The other thing is when we see someone who's like, quote unquote, in our mind, doing it all, I want you to flip that. And instead I want you to start catch yourself saying that like, Oh, I don't know how she does it all. I want you to do a mind semantics, like words matter, people, words matter, right? I want you to do a swap. The swap is, instead of, I don't know how she does it all, I want you to think, Oh, she's doing something that I admire or that I would like in my own life. That's what we, like, when we say, how does she do it all? It's because she's doing ABCDE and we wish we were doing ABCDE. And so instead get curious about like, Oh, I see her doing that. Oh, how could I do that instead, or not instead, like, how could I do that to, it doesn't have to be reserved just for her and instead just kind of like glorifying this, like, I don't know how she does it all and just, just cut that out and instead just get curious and say, oh, okay, let's look at what she's doing. I like how she, I don't know, has a dog, uh, makes home cooked meals and I don't know. Reads books or something. And you're thinking like, well, I'd really like to read books and I'm not reading books and I'd like to make meals, you know, whatever, whatever it is for you. So make that swap. That's important. But the back to the plan of attack, right? So we need to then figure out, okay, well, what are we doing here and how, and so the, how is the supporting system? So what, what is it? that you want to do regularly. And I would say, so this is another brain dump, different from the ongoing brain dump. This is kind of like a specific brain dump just for this case, because here's the overwhelmed piece too. I want you to sit down with a piece of paper and just write down just like, I don't know, set a timer. So, because sometimes too, when we're like, Oh, this task, it's going to take forever. And I have to do it perfectly. No set a timer for one minute, two minutes, five minutes. I don't know, whatever feels good to you. Not more than five minutes and then write down all the things that you're like feeling this like I want to get it done regularly Just did it right it all down get it all out of your brain all the things that you think Oh, I really wish I was doing this regularly. I really want need whatever do it regularly get it out Then you're gonna look at it and when you can see it all on paper Then it starts to kind of feel different. You're like, oh That's what I want to do regularly. And then somehow that can help with the overwhelm, right? When we see it in front of us, it helps with the overwhelm. And then, once we see those things, we can come up with a plan of attack. And we can come up with supporting systems. Now I'm sure today, if you haven't already, then you're gonna like still catch up on the presentations from today, right? They're all about routines. So I don't need to go into the details of how to get particular routines in your life. Cause you can go check out the presentations and get lots of good ideas there. And we don't, again, have the time for all the specifics, but look at your, look at your list and think, okay, What do I want to get done? What's like most important? What's kind of like moderately important and what's like and I could do without again from last night? Hmm. I don't have my visual, but the Eisenhower matrix, I do, I have it. It's in the binder over there. But then if I stand up, you're going to get like, I could close my camera more. No, we're not going to do that. I said, Eisenhower matrix, Google it. Eisenhower, like the former president, it's his matrix, I guess, where it's, you're talking about what's important and not important and urgent and not important, urgent and not urgent. When it comes to things you want to get done regularly, whether it's chores or projects or. Whatever it is for you, right? You can run it through that. If you're having trouble figuring out what's important and not important, but I think the thing here that's gonna matter is really looking at, okay, do all of these things in the season that you're currently in. We talked about seasons a bit last night. Do all these things really need to and can get done now in this season? Maybe, maybe not. Like, for example, maybe you want to, I don't know, clean your whatever weekly. Maybe that whatever doesn't actually need to be cleaned weekly. For some reason you feel like it must because your mother Mother in law, father, father in law, best friend, Pinterest, Instagram, leaves you feeling like you quote unquote should. Please don't should all over yourself when it comes to chores and you know, I mean, I didn't make that, I didn't make up that cute little funny little phrase that lots of people say that, right? So, um, Think about, think about that, right? Get the things that really matter most to you that you want done during this particular season of your life. And then map it out, map it out on Mondays. I'm going to do whatever. And you know what? If Monday comes and you don't do whatever, give yourself some grace. If you didn't clean the bathroom on Monday, you know what? No one's gonna care. Like, I don't know who's coming over to your house. I mean, I hope you don't have people coming over to your house and like, like looking at your bathroom like That toilet doesn't look clean enough like then like unfriend those people in real life, like not just online, like don't invite them over to your house if they like care that much about your bathroom. Um, so things like that. Okay. Permission to like, yeah, make a plan, but if it doesn't happen this week, okay, whatever. Try again next week. No need to beat yourself up and then get supporting systems with your kids, with your spouse, with, if you have the resources to like hire help or enlist. You know, enlist whomever to get the things done that matter. Cause you either got to like use your own time, someone else's time. you can do it for free or you can do it for money. It's all like the resources, right? And they all get allocated somewhere and you just got to figure out what matters most to you for getting done and not getting done. Okay. And then as I'm kind of already getting into here too, you got to kind of dial in and get laser focused on your expectations for what's actual real life, not how am I going to do all the chores all the time? Like, okay. I mean, goodness, I could tell you all the thing, all the like chores that I don't do. Like I never, I don't know if you all do this, like more power to you. I I'm like looking at my window here. Like I don't clean. I don't clean the windows. I, like, maybe you do and maybe you're like, that's gross. But I don't. I don't clean the windows. I have three little kids. I don't have time to be cleaning windows. Right? So I clean, like, bathrooms. To me, that's more important than windows. So the windows go undone. Right? There are other things like that. Uh, dusting. I don't really do dusting so much during this season of my life. Occasionally, I'll, like, get inspired and, like, dust a thing. But yeah. And you're probably like, oh my goodness, how do you not dust your house? I don't people. I don't dust my house. Not right now. Is dusting important? Maybe. Maybe to you it is. To me it's like, ah, that's one of those things that I can like skip during this season of life. But I like clean floors. That matters to me. So the floors get cleaned. So it's just what matters to you, figure it out, get it into your system, plan it in, and then just, just, just execute it. But again, with the mindset stuff, this is what I'm talking about. You gotta choose between good and good. And this is what I talked about last night that I would come back to here today. Choosing between good and good. This kind of applies to anywhere and everywhere. in our lives. It's important to keep this concept in mind. You've maybe heard me talk about this before or maybe not, but it's this concept between in life, we're not often choosing between good and bad, right? It's not like when it comes to, I don't know, something that we want to participate in. It's not like we're choosing between like, well, do I want to join book club or do I want to organize a jewel heist? Right? Like that's not the kind of thing that we're choosing between. Right? At least, well, I mean, if you are, then you've got a very different life than I do. But, right, we're not, right? We're choosing between, like, do I want to join a book club or do I want to go to yoga class? Right? Do I want to clean the windows or do I want to clean the bathrooms? Do I want to vacuum the floors or do I want to, I don't know, spend more time doing whatever it is that matters to you? Choosing between good and good because In this mindset, in this concept that I love talking about, there's another piece. We're choosing between good and good and our sanity. So yeah, sure, we could choose to like clean the windows and clean the bathrooms and have everything be pristine, but Can we do that? And also choose the third thing over here, which is our sanity. Can we do that and do that regularly and still feel good about it? Right? Can we do book club and yoga class and still have our sanity? Maybe yes, but maybe no, because I think what happens a lot happens to me. This is good and good choosing between good and good is something that we all I I don't like to use like extremes But I feel like not at all if not all then like maybe ninety nine point nine percent of us But I feel like this is a concept that applies to just about everybody choosing between these things is Important because first choose your sanity choose your sanity and then choose what fits if they both fit Good on ya. Go with it. But if they don't both fit, choose that sanity first. That's first and foremost. That's important. That's how we don't have the overwhelm. That's how we keep up with it all. That's how we get things done regularly, because we chose our sanity first, and that just makes life work so much better. And then we choose, okay, well, I have like these 62 million chores that I would love to do, but I gotta choose. And that's where the choosing starts. And that's where the prioritizing comes in. And that's where we just, we got to figure it out and we got to make those choices. Sometimes they feel like hard choices. I get it. It's not easy to choose between yoga class and book club. They're both good. You want to do them both. It's not easy to choose between like cleaning your, your book. bathrooms weekly and cleaning. I don't know what else matters to you to clean weekly, right? That's, that's hard, but maybe both don't fit, especially in whatever season you're currently in. Do you have little kids? Do you have big kids who have so many activities that you feel like you're up to your eyeballs and you can't handle it or so much homework or so much, whatever. Do you have a spouse who's deployed? Do you have chronic health issues that are flaring up? Do you have whatever, right? You have to take that into account, choose your sanity over here, and then see what else fits. So, that is my quick tip. Short, short. I'm looking at my timer. Yeah. Pretty good. We're good.

No, that's it for this episode. If you want to get more into here more sessions, just like this one. Make sure you grab the let's get more time bundle. The link is in the description. Like I said before, though, let's get more time by now is on sale for 30% off until Friday, March 29th. And do me a favor, stay tuned next week for another full episode. I want to see you there take care. And what's a lots of love.

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