[249] How to Embrace Intentional Motherhood & Find More Presence in Your Day

Motherhood is a whirlwind, and it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly running on autopilot. But what if you could shift from just getting through the day to truly experiencing it? In this episode, I chat with Monica, a mom, entrepreneur, and host of mother-and-child retreats, about what it really means to be intentional in motherhood. We talk about breaking free from societal expectations, creating space for presence, and simple ways to infuse intentionality into your daily life—even when things feel overwhelming. If you’ve ever wanted to slow down and savor motherhood instead of rushing through it, this episode is for you.

Key Takeaways:

1. Start Small: Being intentional doesn’t mean overhauling your life—it’s about simple shifts like putting your phone away for 10 minutes and fully engaging with your kids.
2. Nature as a Reset: Stepping outside, whether for a walk, watching the sunrise, or exploring with your child, can help you disconnect from distractions and be more present.
3. Intentional Living Can Be Virtual Too: If an in-person retreat isn’t in the cards, there are ways to cultivate intentionality at home, including Monica’s Intentional Living for Mothers Audio Event happening February 3-7.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• Intentional Living for Mothers Audio Event (Feb 3-7): https://www.wandherwild.com/summit
• Magic Mind
• Show Notes

Transcript

0:00

Did you know that the average parent spends about 34 minutes of, undistracted time with their kids each day? I know it doesn't sound like much, but let's just be honest between work chores schedules and the never ending to-do lists. It's easy to slip into autopilot and just get through the day. But here's the thing. What if small, intentional moments. Could completely change how you experience motherhood. And that's what we're going to talk about in this episode. Hey there. My name is Toni Ann. I'm the podcast host of the real happy mom podcast, the podcast for busy working moms who wants to gain more time and achieve their big goals without pulling their hair out. And in today's episode, I am talking to Monica. The mom and entrepreneur who hosts. Mother and child retreats. And it's going to share with us a little bit about what it means to be intentional in motherhood. And one way that we can be a little bit more intentional is by making sure that we're staying focused. I know it's hard, especially with work going on. I know I find myself easily getting distracted and having a hard time staying focused. But things have changed since I started using magic mind. Magic mind is a mental performance shot that I take in the mornings when I have several tasks that require me to focus and concentrate. So instead of drinking another latte or red bull, I like to drink magic mind. And I feel calm and focused. It's kind of like when Mario gets a mushroom inside a super Mario, you know, the game. So instead of jumping higher, like Mario does, my superpower is a sharper mind and increased productivity. Anytime I take this magic shot. I know that I can focus on creating some great content for real happy mom. Plus I can manage my busy schedule and still feel calm, which is surprising, considering all the things that I have going on around me. So no more feeling like you have a squirrel brain or get an easily stressed out. Use magic mind and you'll absolutely love it. If you want to give it a try too, you can go to www dot magic mind. Dot com. And experienced the mental clarity and calm that I have.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 2:14

All right. Welcome to the podcast, Monica. I'm excited to have you and chit chat with you today.

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 2:21

Me too. Thank you for having me.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 2:23

Yes. Yes. For people who are listening and don't know about you, can you share a little bit about you and who you are and what you do?

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 2:32

Yeah. So I'm Monica. I am a mom of a four and a two year old who really completely changed my world when I went from just being a working engineer for a large energy company, uh, Um, traveling around the world and then became a mom during the pandemic. And, um, everything just kind of changed from there. So I've become an entrepreneur, very passionate about supporting mothers in the space of just. Really self development. And I host mother and child retreats in the United States. And I also have a virtual community for mothers to kind of take that retreat type atmosphere and development. To a virtual space where you can continue the work or, or, or also just join us in a way that's more affordable. And geographically doesn't really have any boundaries. So I currently live in Norway. I'm from New Jersey and my husband is Saudi Arabian. My kids are learning Norwegian and English. They're already bilingual. So we have a very multicultural house going on. And, um, yeah, that's me in a nutshell.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 3:46

Nice. And I know at these retreats, I know there, are a lot of things that you do with them, but in particular, I know you really focus on intentional motherhood. So first I wanted to just ask you, what does intentional motherhood mean to you and what does it look like?

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 4:03

Yeah. So I think, yeah, intentional is such a like. It can be such a buzzword, but like the roots of it are really fully taking intentionality in the decisions that you make and the way that you spend your time and even just your day and your motherhood journey. So looking at, you know, making decisions that can really feel good to you versus maybe just things you've been told carving out time to be really present. Making things in a more intuitive way that just like, maybe aren't always what you see on social media or the way you were raised or the way someone's telling you things should be. Um, but instead to really like get in the driver's seat, get off kind of this like autopilot approach that, you know, a lot of us have, cause we're so tired and burned out most days, but, but really carving out that time for more presence and just, Doing things in a way where you're taking intentionality to it. Like you're, you're thinking about those decisions and how they can affect your own mindset, your own body, your own soul. And also the children that you're, you're guiding in this life as well.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 5:20

Yeah, you brought up a couple of points, um, as far as just being intentional in the way that you're doing things. Because I know a lot of times, I feel like we get in that. Autopilot mode where we're just kind of getting through the day. But are there certain things that you would say to, to either think about or to try to do so that you can be more intentional throughout your day? So you're not running on autopilot?

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 5:45

Yeah, completely, because I, yeah, I'm all about, like, making this realistic, right? Because, like, we can't take away everything on our plates. We, we can try and change some things over time in our lives to create more space, but it doesn't happen overnight. So, like, being realistic with just starting out with small things, like, carving out time for just fully being present with my kids, for instance, or with your kids where you put your phone on silent, you know, you put any work that you have to do aside, you leave whatever thing around the house you have to do and just put it aside and just fully be present to spend, even if it's 20, 30 minutes where you're really just. Fully, fully there having a conversation or just really witnessing and being with your kids, um, and with yourself, you know, just like how you're feeling in that moment without thinking about all the things. And maybe the thoughts are still going to come in your mind, like similar to meditation, but you just let them come in and go out, observe and, and stay presence. Um, You know, just stay grounded and stay present. So that's something for me that, you know, everybody can find 20 minutes, hopefully in their day to, to just put things, put things aside, carve out that time. Um, and. You know, and then you'll see, like, it'll grow. Like you'll be able to probably fit those pockets in more and more. I also just really enjoy like, Getting outside, like that's always something that being in nature is so calming and like for your nervous system for, it just, It's somewhere where you can be creative and it's just so simple. It's so simple and you don't really have to have an agenda or anything planned. Um, so that's like a lot of my, my go to weekends a lot with my kids, when we have time together, we just sit outside and we might watch the sunrise or make a little campfire. Outside before bed one night. Um, whatever it might be, just go for a walk and collect different pine cones and rocks and look at the different textures and connect with our senses. Like when you get away from the distractions, just, you'll see kind of what opens up and it feels really good to. You, you know, it's a way of giving yourself some care, and also connecting with your child away from all these other to do lists and things we have. Cause I think sometimes being in your house, you'll, you'll just see like, Oh, I got to clean up that mess. So I got to throw that in the laundry. So like, just get like removing yourself from your house can be an easy way of just like, okay, there's nothing out here. That's going to really pull me to do something. So that's another one that I think is. Um, yeah, it's an easy way to get started with intentional living that you can do today.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 8:49

Yeah, you brought up a lot of. Really good points. And, um, I like when you're talking about, getting outside and removing yourself from, I call them the distractions that are gonna suck you into, not being as intentional as you want to be. But I know there's sometimes some moms who are in just different seasons of life that are a little bit harder, whether it's Um, dealing with a sick parent or having a chronic illness or things like that. What would you say to those moms who are like in a tough season and they're really like, you know, Monica, like, how do I do this? Like, I want to, but it's just a lot. What would you say to them?

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 9:28

Yeah, there's Those are definitely tough situations to be in. And there are always going to be these, and everyone's story is different, but like there's always going to be these times in everyone's life where things are more difficult and it's more difficult to fit in these moments of presence. but I would still say it's really important and maybe even more important for those difficult moments. and it, it's, It's just a matter of maybe asking for help if you need someone else to step in for five minutes so that you can take a breather, and just maybe looking at your week as a whole and planning it out a little bit of, like, carving out, you know, Just space in your week so that you can fit in some of these things because when you are more intentional with your time and you have these moments of stillness and these moments of presence and connection, it changes the way that you react and the way that you. Have conversations with others, the way that you interact with others. Like it changes everything in your life. So it has an impact on, so if you leave it out, you know, it's going to, you won't have those positive impacts, support you through those times. That can be really difficult.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 10:48

I, I really appreciated that because I think a lot of times, you know, We have these unrealistic expectations and we want to do more than we're actually capable of. So asking for help for sure and then just knowing that it will create the space I think is so beautiful. And one thing I want to circle back to was about the retreats that you have. And I know that you do these in person retreats. one, tell us a little bit about them. And then two, like What is the goal and how do you incorporate intentional motherhood during the retreats?

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 11:26

So I started hosting mother and child retreats after becoming a mom. I was just so driven to create this space where we could explore more, like who we are in this chapter of life. Because it is so. Transformational when you step into this, this phase, and so that the goal was really to the mission, I should say, is just to get away from all the busyness that we've kind of been touching on, get away from that, where we are able to nourish your mind, body and soul. And. You don't have to worry about cooking. We're preparing earth to table foods that are providing nutrients to your body that are really good, that feel good, that give you clarity in what you're eating. Um, and there are, you know, things that kids and moms are both excited about eating. It's, it's a food experience and, and it's also an opportunity for mothers and children to have. These curated activities that provide a holistic approach to life. Um, we do things like interactive sound journeys where we, we really explore the healing powers of sound. We do things like mommy, me yoga, but in a very intentional way that, um, strengthen the bond and connection between mother and child. Um, We spend a lot of time outside in nature. There's a few hours each day of nature based forest school inspired child care where the kids really self lead in these different activities, where we create like earth offerings and we'll like, Hug a tree or like we did something recently in our retreat this past weekend where we Had like a blindfold and you had to go up to a tree and like just Connect with it feel the texture feel how big it was and then get stuck But around and figure out which tree it was. So like things like that, where you really just start to, um, be more aware of the beauty around you to like the natural beauty around you and, and the mothers have opportunities when the children are doing that to really. Just let go and release a lot of things that we hold on to. And a lot of things that can be difficult to even share with our friends every day. There's a lot of tears. There's also a lot of laughter. Um, we usually open up the first day with a cacao circle, which is just a sacred circle of sharing. Um, And there's just a lot of emotions that come up. Like a lot of us are still grieving things like birth experiences or, um, time for ourselves or, you know, different things that come up in a lot of deeper things too, but like, uh, everybody has something personal that they're, they're navigating. And so it's an opportunity to also share that in a very safe space without judgment, without anyone giving unsolicited advice. And it's just a space where. You feel open and you feel open to release that and then just come in community with mothers, which is so important because we don't always get that opportunity.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 14:58

Yeah, and this is, is so good because I feel like, especially if you're listening, you're like, that sounds great. Like you can create this. for yourself. I feel like because you're talking about even the foods like that's something that honestly like I love to eat, but I wasn't even really thinking about how that can play such a huge role as far as the intentionality part and then the yoga and being outside and all of these different activities that you have within the retreat. I know that this really creates an experience that is It's not only beneficial for the mothers, but for the kids too as well. And yeah, like I said, this is something that I know that, we can take some of these, ideas and definitely incorporate them, within ourselves and at our homes. But you do have something that we could attend, even if we are not, wherever your retreats are, we can attend something virtually, um, that it has a similar feel that can definitely help with us living more intentionally. And that is the intentional living for mothers audio event, which coming up February 3rd. I just wanted to talk to you about that. What are some of the things that we could look forward to and where can we learn more about it?

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 16:12

Yeah, it's, it's intentional living for mothers. It's an audio event that's going to be taking place February 3rd through the 7th. And, um, you know, I, I acknowledge that our retreats are an investment in time and also money that not everybody can, can get. Geographically there, wherever you are in life, like there's reasons you won't always be able to attend a retreat with us. So this is a way to still, as you touched on, like, if you're excited about what we're saying we do at the retreats, like, you can still do a lot of this at home. This is still work that can be done individually in your home. And then, You can also connect with us virtually through our member space or, you know, find a community that you have that support with. And so, this event is really to boldly help you embody the life you dream of, really, in parallel to motherhood. I've always been a person who really doesn't believe in glass ceilings. Like if you can believe it, if you dream it and you really want it, you can have it. So this is to really help you make those, those steps towards that. And we've brought together 30 plus incredible women in the online space, all mothers, who are very passionate about supporting other mothers to intentionality. And We're going to be having conversations with, parenting experts with, with doctors who are, in certain fields like pelvic health, for instance. there's published authors in the parenting space. There are health and wellness professionals. there are a lot of, like, mom coaches. Like, it's just a really. incredible group of women who've all come together with a similar passion for supporting other mothers and Also the important piece for me when I was looking at who I wanted to speak was that everyone is so authentic and real. They're not spitting out advice that like isn't practical. So I'm really excited for all the conversations that are going to have in there. There's something that you're going to take away from every single conversation that you can start doing now. Like, these are things that are you can start making these small changes or just pick up what you need, take what you don't. But yeah, it's going to be a really great week of, of learnings and inspiration.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 18:36

Yes, yes. I, I'm really excited to see how everything unfolds for you. I was looking at the speaker lineup and looking at all of the presentations and they are all really good ones. So, I know it's going to be a really, really great event. So, I will definitely have the link in the show notes or in the description of wherever you're listening. So, don't worry, I got you covered there. But, Before we go, Monica, I just wanted to circle back to the beginning on intentional motherhood and um, just get you to give us just like one thing, one thing before we go that you want us to remember when it comes to being more intentional, especially with motherhood.

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 19:18

Yeah. Just start small, start being just practical. And today just maybe put your screen down, turn the TV off. Turn the music off, put your phone aside, put anything in your home that you have to work on, if it's dishes, laundry, whatever, like just put it down for even five, ten minutes and just fully, fully see your kids and just see them for who they are. And also just be present, be present with yourself and just be appreciative for like, what's around you and these, these little humans in your life and this chapter, because it does go by so fast and just start there, you know, just start there and see how it makes you feel when you take those five to 10 minutes and just carve out doing, doing nothing, but connecting with them and being present with yourself.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 20:13

Yes, I love it. I love it. thank you so much for coming on and sharing all of this with us.

monica-virga-alborno_1_01-22-2025_112005: 20:18

All right. Thank you so much.

toni-ann-from-real-happy-mom--undefined-_1_01-22-2025_051959: 20:19

No, that's it for this episode of the real happy mom podcast, to find the links in the show notes, head on over to realhappy mom.com/ 2 4 9. There you'll find the links to everything that we talked about in this episode, including the audio event that is starting here very soon. So make sure you check that out. All right, that's it for this time, take care. And with lots of love.