[250] Let Go of the Stress! How to Complete the Stress Cycle

Stress is a natural part of life, but staying in a constant state of stress? That’s a recipe for burnout. In this episode, I share a powerful lesson I learned after dealing with disappointment and seeking advice from my coach. She introduced me to the concept of the stress cycle (from the book Burnout by Amelia and Emily Nagoski) and how important it is to complete it—otherwise, your body holds onto stress in unhealthy ways.

If you’ve been feeling weighed down, this episode will help you process those emotions and let them go so you can show up as your best self.

Key Takeaways:

1. Feel your feelings – Don’t suppress them. Acknowledging emotions is the first step to moving through stress.
2. Complete the stress cycle – Your body needs an action to signal that stress is over (e.g., exercise, laughter, crying, deep breathing).
3. Community and connection help – Hugs, conversations, and support from loved ones signal to your brain that you’re safe and okay.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
• Let’s Get More Time Virtual Summit (Feb 20-22)

Transcript

Toni-Ann: 0:00

Stress, this is a very natural part of life. If you are living something is going to cause stress within you, whether it be. Uh, boss at work, the kids who just spilt all of the Legos all over the floor after you just cleaned them up. It could even be seeing the food burning on the stove, different things happen in life and causes a stress, which like I said is part of life but having to deal with chronic stress and not actively. Dealing with that stress can cause a lot of harm to our bodies and. There is something that I learned that I want to share with you in this episode today. Hey there. My name is Tony Anne. I am the podcast host of the real happy mom podcast. The podcast for busy working moms who want to gain more time and achieve their big goals without pulling their hair out. And in this episode, I'm going to share with you some insight. After I went through something that was pretty disappointing. Aye. Was in a place where. I knew that I needed a different perspective. And instead of sitting in pouting and being upset all day, I reached out to someone and got some really, really helpful. Advice. And I want to pass that on to you because I know if you're like me, you're dealing with a lot of things and I don't want you to carry a lot of stress inside of you without going through the stress cycle. So. I'm going to go in, switch over to share with you. The insight that I had So please forgive me at the sound is a little bit different, but I was sitting in the quiet room and I wanted to talk in private to you. So here it is. So there was a particular situation where I was really disappointed and it was mainly because I had planned and prepared for this event that I just knew was going to be awesome. And the results were nothing to write home about. So, as a result, I was not very happy. I was really disappointed. And I reached out to one of the coaches that I work with and asked for a pep talk. And the first thing that she said to me was, Feel your feelings. And I loved when she said that because a lot of times people will tell you, Oh, it's not that bad. Like you shouldn't be disappointed. At least you got this or, you know, this didn't happen. You know, you only had to deal with this. And it's like, yeah, that's true. But at the same time, I'm still disappointed and I really needed to take time to really feel my feelings. And in the whole talk about feeling your feelings, she talked about a book that I'm really getting into that I can't share too much about because I haven't finished it yet, but it is called Burnout by Amelia and Emily Zukoski. It is so, so good. So, the coach was telling me to feel my feelings and complete the stress cycle. And at first I was like, what is she talking about? And so she was explaining that in the book, Burnout, that they talk about the stress cycle and how when you don't complete the cycle and you resist it, That's when your body holds on to a lot of things and it ends up showing in other ways that aren't the best. So, if you really want to learn more about the stress cycle and how to complete it, definitely check out the book. It's called Burnout, The Secret to Unlock Stress. And I'll make sure to have that in the show notes. Bye. Some of the things that she encouraged me to do while I was feeling my feelings so I didn't get stuck in it. She was saying that you can do some things to help complete this stress cycle like moving your body. So this could be going out for a run or a walk. She also said you could have a good cry and the best way I find to do that is watching that movie that you know will get you crying every time. And for me, that would probably be The Little Mermaid and The Notebook. I know, don't judge me, but those two movies, I always cry. Another thing that she says that you can do to complete the stress cycle is laughing. And this is something that I absolutely love, love, love to do. You will find me laughing at some stand up comic. Somewhere sometime throughout the days and the weeks and my latest stand up that I just got finished watching was Gabriel Iglesias the legend of fluffy and Yeah, I always get a good chuckle when I watch him So if you need a good laugh, definitely if you have Netflix, just type in Fluffy in the search bar, you'll find it. He's, he's hilarious and always makes me laugh. So laughter is a good one. And then being in community, because one thing I learned is that our brains want to know that we're safe and we're protected. So when we go to our tribe, our people, our family, and we get the hugs and the celebration that lets us know that we're okay and we're, and we're safe. And it was funny because when my coach was explaining all of this, she was saying that you can find this whole completing the stress cycle in nature. And she described her dog, which at first I was like, really, you're going to talk about your dog, but it was really good. She says whenever the UPS truck or the Amazon truck comes, her dog just like immediately starts barking it's head off. thinking there's a threat and someone's coming to get the dog in the family. So the dog is barking and barking and barking and even when she says she takes the dog on walks the dog is just always barking at something like there's always something out in the bushes or on the walk that just gets the dog just going and she says whenever the dog comes back from the walk or the Amazon truck bleats The dog goes through this little, slight little shift, comes inside, and knows that the stress is gone and will shake its body. And that shaking lets the dog's body know, okay, it's over, the stress is gone, I'm okay now. And that is the cue for the dog. And your cue that the stress is over and That you're okay, could be, like I said, moving your body, crying, laughing, or being in community. These things, I think, will really help with shifting you out of that chronic state of feeling stressed, which literally can kill you, and get you, out. to move on so that you can go on and do bigger and better things. So I wanted to share that with you because it has been really helpful for me because as soon as she talked about the, about the book, burnout, I immediately went and got the audio version and I absolutely love it. I'm not done reading the book just yet. I'm like halfway done. And yeah, it, it is like really, really good and a really good eye opener. So if you're going through a tough time, I just want to encourage you to feel your feelings for sure, but then let your body know that the stress is over and that you're okay and you're safe and you can do that. However works for you, but like for me, I like laughing and every now and then I'll get in a good cry, but laughing is my go to Maybe it could be taking a walk or a run or like I said, just going up to your Husband or significant other and getting a really big long hug Whatever it is. Just let your body know like the stress is gone and you're okay so that you don't stay in that perpetual cycle of being stressed out all the time. So that's the message that I want to share with you. So, if you want to find the links in the show notes, head on over to realhappy mom.com/ 2 5 0. And made sure to join me at the second annual let's get more time virtual summit. That is happening February 20th through the 22nd. This is a three day event, or you're going to learn how to. Shift your mindset learn a new helpful of routines, and also how to use some time saving apps also that you can gain four plus hours to your week. So that's something that you think you would enjoy join me at. Let's get more time by going to let's get more time. Dot com. That's it for this week, take care. And with lots of love.