[282] How to Stay Consistent With Routines When Life Gets Messy

I know what it feels like to start a routine, feel proud… and then one day life happens and everything falls apart. In this episode, I’m breaking down the most common “consistency killers” that make routines hard to stick to—especially for busy working moms. I’ll show you how to redesign your routines so they work in real life, not just in a perfect week. And I’ll walk you through simple, practical fixes you can start using right away so you can stop restarting from scratch. 

3 Takeaways from this episode:

1. Consistency isn’t about “more discipline”—it’s about designing routines that still work when life gets messy.
2. The smaller your routine, the more likely you are to keep moving (a 10-minute version beats a perfect 90-minute plan).
3. Your restart plan is part of the routine—pick a reset trigger so you don’t quit when you miss a day.

Transcript

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If you ever set out to start a new routine and you know that this routine is gonna help you with your meals or just having your days just run. A little bit smoother. You start things off and you feel so proud, and then one day life happens and everything blows up in your face and you're like, well, I guess I'm not the girl that's gonna have that routine anymore. I just wanna let you know I've been there and. It doesn't have to be that way. Today, I'm gonna share with you the most common reasons routines don't stick and what you can do instead. Hey there, if we haven't met, my name is Tony Anne. I'm the podcast host of The Real Happy Mom podcast. A podcast that helps busy working moms use a weekly planning routine so they can stop feeling overwhelmed and walk into Monday. Calm and clear. Today I wanna talk to you about these consistency killers. At least that's what I'm calling them, because these are some silent killers that are out there that are preventing you from really staying consistent with the routines that you have to either make life easier, or help you with achieving certain goals that you have for the year So this year I have been experimenting and trying new things in my life when it comes to my health, my. Finances with the way that I am running the household, I have just been experimenting with different things and trying to figure out what is working. Really i've been been trying to optimize things and make things even better, but also see like what works for my real life. And a lot of times I will start off with these new routines and life happens and. Throws me completely off, especially when it comes to the kids. I have gotten completely derailed many, many times, and I have learned a thing or two that I wanted to help you with, so you're not like me. And the biggest thing I've found is that it's not about being more disciplined, it's more so how you design things in your life. If you don't have a design that works when life is life and things will go left very quickly. So your routine not only has to work for a perfect week, it also has to work for real life. So the first consistency killer that I have met with is over planning. This is when you try to cram in a whole bunch of things in a little bit of time, knowing that life doesn't happen like that. So if you have this big elaborate routine that takes 90 minutes, it's gonna get skipped the moment you're tired or something is running late because 90 minutes. Is a lot of time, especially for us moms. So the fix for this is creating a 10 minute version of the routine, asking yourself what is the smallest version that I can do? That one is effective and two is gonna help future me. I'm always looking out for my future self because I really want future me to look back and be like Tony Ann. You are really doing something good and I appreciate you. So some ways that you can do this is like for instance, with meal planning instead of planning out the whole week. Because I know for me, I'll be honest, meal planning is not my forte. I. Instead of planning out the entire week, maybe just pick out three dinners instead of the whole week or when you're getting ready to go into resetting your home, whether it's just tidying things up or just getting things ready.'cause you have some guests coming over. Instead of trying to do like everything in the house, you have like three main things that you're gonna do, like. Take out the trash, do the dishes, and clean out the countertops instead of clean the entire kitchen. And then lastly, another example of this looks like when you're doing weekly planning, instead of trying to really get detailed and granular, look at your calendar and then choose your top three priorities instead of mapping out every single hour for each day of the week. So the biggest thing here is that the small things count and the small things are the things that are gonna keep you in motion. So instead of over-planning, scale things down and make it easier. So consistency. Killer number two. This is a big one. Copying someone else's routine. So just because something works for me does not mean it'll work for you. And just because something works for her doesn't mean it'll work for us. A routine that you build should fit your life, not the other way around. So instead of copying someone else's routine, build around your real constraints, your work hours, school, drop off and pick up if you're still doing that. Practices, extracurricular activities, meetings, bedtime realities, all of those things. So for example, if mornings are chaotic for you, don't force a morning routine. Instead, maybe look at trying to do a midday reset or a after bedtime 10 minute routine If we weekends are packed and you have a hard time getting things done. Your Sunday reset might happen on Saturday morning or Sunday night. So remember, we're not copying routines we're customizing them to build around our lives and our schedules. Consistency killer number three. So this one is not restarting with a plan. Uh, most people don't quit because they miss a day. They quit because they don't know how to restart without feeling behind. I have found this a lot when I don't have something that triggers me to go ahead and restart. It's like my brain is running on autopilot and if I don't know what the next step is or don't have that trigger to get to the next step, it's like my brain starts to go into glitch mode and I don't know what to do next. So the way to fix this is to pick a reset trigger. It could be Sunday afternoon, it could be right after drop off. It could be right after dinner time, after bedtime. First thing that you do when you sit at your desk on Monday. It is just something that is gonna remind you, okay, now is the time for me to go ahead and start working on X, Y, Z, or to start implementing that routine. So if you missed your Sunday planning, for instance, your reset trigger is Monday after drop off. You can take 10 minutes and it's not a whole production. Or if the kitchen starts to get a little crazy, your reset trigger can be right after dinner, not sometime later. So the restart plan is the routine. This is gonna help you so that you're not feeling like you have to quit. All right. The last consistency killer is too many goals at one time. I am so guilty of this one. So instead of picking so many things to do at once, pick one or two things for that season. So remember you, it is not that you're inconsistent, it's that you're overloaded. You have a lot going on and trying to start five new habits at once is how you end up getting none of them done. So the fix for this is having one home habit and one personal habit for 30 days. Everything else goes on the later list. Some examples of this looks like for home, doing a 10 minute kitchen reset and your personal one could be lights out by 10 30'cause you're trying to get to bed earlier, or it could be at home. Looks like simple dinners three nights a week and your personal habit looks like a 10 minute walk three times a week. Whatever it is, just keep it simple and only one or two for the season. Remember, less is sustainable and more is stressful and we don't want stress. So just to recap, the four consistency killers that we talked about today is over planning and the way to overcome that is scaling down. The second is copying someone else's routine. And the way to overcome that one is building your own routine or schedule. The third one is not having a restart plan. And the way to overcome this is with a reset trigger. And then lastly, having too many goals at once. And the way to combat this is to pick one to two for the season. So there you have it, the four Consistency Killers. Hopefully you have found this episode helpful. If you did, please do me a favor and. Go ahead and rate this podcast with five stars. I have not been getting a lot of ratings and reviews for this podcast, and it would mean so much to me if you could just give me a quick rating and review wherever you're listening to this podcast, especially if you're on Apple Podcast, just because that helps me out more than you know, and lets other moms know that this is a good podcast to listen to. All right, thank you so much for that, and I will see you again in the next episode. Take care, and with lots of love.